10 Things I Hate About Me
1. My appearance. My everything is better with make up and Photoshop.
2. My awkward quirks like giggling and cat noises because people don’t take me seriously.
3. That I look dumb and people explain stupid shit to me which I agree to so they would STFU when in reality I know what they were explaining already.
4. My partner who has left bruises on me from grabbing my arm so hard, has hurled abuse at me, has threatened me physically and at any given chance when people are not around will tell me how incapable I am as a human and how inferior I am so he can feel better about himself. But says that his anxiety and depression makes him do all this.
5. The fact that I have no idea what to do because I don’t know if he’s faking this condition and actually just an excuse cover up of him being a fucking asshole or really suffering.
6. The fact that I can’t tell anyone because I don’t trust anyone and haven’t had a real best friend in years because my last “best friend” beat me, raped me and left me to suffer in hospital.
7. The fact that people have told me that I am heartless because I don’t feel anymore.
8. The fact that some days I am so apathetic, not even sad - just a naturally aenesthetised human, that I need to rip and pull at my own skin to feel anything.
9. The question of if it’s worth waking up the next day because I can’t tell if I will feel nothing or everything all at once.
10. The fact that I wake up and pretend it’s all ok when I’ve already died inside.